So I wanted to talk a little bit about accepting yourself. I know each one of us has something that they don’t like about their bodies. Could be your feet, your hair, your thighs, your lack of 6-pack abs. Sure you can work on these things and come to better understand and accept yourself but for a trans person this dysphoria takes on a whole new level of meaning.
So I have been over last year and this year in the process of making my body match my mind. Having surgery and the like to become more of my true genuine self. I have had three surgeries to date and have one more planned in the next year or so. And even though this has brought me more in alignment with myself there are still things about my body that irk me. My hair is one thing. My hair is not truly straight which I would wish it to be. Sure I can put products in it and use a flat iron or a curling iron to make it straight but go out in humidity for 5 minutes and your head becomes a poodle. Now sure I can spend an hour doing my hair everyday but that takes a lot of energy.
Also I need to lose about 15 pounds to make me happy. The problem with that is I used to be anorexic so any thought of weight loss feeds into my recovering anorexic mindset when I was 5’11 and only weighed 84lb. Not a healthy weight at all. This was in college and again about 4 years ago. I take medication which makes me gain some weight and I am just recently trying to be more strict with my food. I am a vegan so that is already strict but I want to try this thing again. I do need to be careful with my tendancy to take weight loss to anorexic extremes. And I can also get caught up in exercising too much so I try to keep that on an even keel.
My current weight loss plan is to restrict calories and up my mild exercise. I don’t like the gym so I will have to do exercise outside to make up that deficit. I self sabotage myself sometimes I know so this will be an uphill battle.
Being dysphoric can cause some transgender people to really hate their bodies and sometimes even hate themselves. The number of transgender suicides in LGBT teens is 30% have had at least one suicide attempt. This is a high number and we need to be cognizant of this fact. Being trapped in the body of the wrong gender can have devastating impacts on the mind and self esteem.
There are other things that can happen as well as cutting, drug addiction, low self esteem and alcoholism. These behaviors are sometimes brought up to mask the pain of the dysphoria. Transwomen are also very prone to this. Some even try to do self mutilation to try to assuage some of the pain.
Body dysphoria is something that we all have to live with in some way. Not everyone is happy with their body be it for any reason. We need to be able to shoulder our self esteem and try to treat ourselves well enough to carry on with the day to day and not get bogged down by the pain. Sometimes this does not work and there are many suicides in trans circles and gay teenagers each year of those that felt there was no way out but suicide. Bullying can also lead to teen suicides. No one should be bullied, it is not okay.
We are all beautiful people, each with our own talents and wonderful things about ourselves. We are all genuine unique people. We need to shower ourselves with love and support. Even in depression there are those around us that love us and care about us. Reach out don’t hide in the dark there are people who can help.
The grydscaen series presents strong LGBT young adults that are struggling with their own issues be they emotional, mental, societal, economic or situational. The grydscaen series wants to present positive role models for young adults. Something that I did not have when I was in college. I write grydscaen to give back to the community and show trans, gay, ace and bi characters with strong personalities that overcome their issues and thrive. This is my way of saying thank you and providing support for those that have a need.